Daughter of the King

Another Semester...

2011-10-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

o.O

Well I'll admit that I forgot about you all...(Sorry duckies!) But I'm back now (for however long) and shall attempt to at least pretend to post more regularly. (Not that I'm deluded enough to believe that anyone is still out there actually reading this...)

So I have an exam on Tuesday and I'm here at work and the only thing that I can think of is anintense need for caffeine (my life's blood) to try to keep me awake to make it through the rest of my day (I still have to get to my classes before I can go home tonight) where I have to do homework for my classes whilst finding time to both study for the exams I have over the weekend, the exam next week and the paper I have due sometime either next week or the Monday after. (I really can't remember - this is what you get when you get a tired writer with no caffeine to keep her sane)

So here's a pretty picture that I found on deviantart that I decided to keep looking at. I can't remember the artists' name but the artist (who isn't me) has a name...And it's a pretty good one. (I think) all things considered. I could take this moment to mention a name that would be horrible to have, but I'm sure I'd only end up insulting someone and I'd rather avoid it. So instead I shall quote the great C.S. Lewis and say at least the artist isn't named Eustace Clarence Scrubb (and he almost deserved it).

A Look Ahead...

2011-01-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

Hello my faithful duckies it is I, your ever mercurial authoress/divine arbiter or all that is. Sup.

I realize that I have been terribly lax in my posting of late but I have been so incredibly busy with school and now work that I've been too exhausted to post anything really. Though, in reference to the job, pray that I get this other job. I've been in contact with someone who seems willing to hire me and save me from my current job. And I would really like to get this job.

But, as it is late, I shall only say that I am indeed alive and well. (Although my wellness is rather debatable at the moment.) I have been terribly busy and terribly tired and sick off an on for the last 4ish months. So look at me kindly when you quibble about my lax in posting. *coughJasoncough* (:)

- CB

Throwing Down the Gauntlet

2010-07-12T16:20:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention through gregarious trial and error, and much bemoaning the death of my taste buds, that there isn't a whole lot of choice out there for gluten free eaters. A friend of mine who, needs to go gluten free and hasn't yet, cites the difficulty of finding food to eat and the feeling of giving up on life, at least the life of her taste buds, as her reason(s) for not doing it. Well Audre, this is for you. And everyone like you who feels that they need help getting going and are overwhelmed with the lifestyle that being celiac or gluten free brings. I'm with you. All of you.

While I've been celiac, at least known I was celiac, for going on 3 years now I haven't been strict about adhering to the lifestyle. Being part of a family, my sister and I are the only ones who are celiac, makes living gf hard. Especially when my mom decides to order pizza for her and my brother, the only ones who can eat it and live. Then my will crumbles and it takes my sister "knocking some sense into me" for me to realize I choose life over pizza. Not an easy choice mind you, when I have the absolute best recipe for pizza...And it's been proven. (Unfortunately it isn't gluten free so oy!)

So this is me. Deciding that I want to have a gluten free bakery, at least one day, but for present I shall have to content myself with "proving" my dear friend wrong. My dear, I shall find a suitably drool worthy gluten free pita recipe. And what's more!: I shall make it! MWAHA!

Today marks day 1 and the beginning of my self imposed trial. I shall find gluten free alternatives to things like ciabatta, and pita (of course!;) and bread...REAL bread that doesn't taste like cardboard and doesn't crumble into dust when you try to eat it. Bread that makes you remember what a sandwhich used to taste like...And fulfills those same requirements. Being gluten free shouldn't mean the end of sandwhiches...It should mean the beginning of an adventure to try new things and learn about an entire new way of living. And the health benefits!!

With this in mind, I shall endeavor to accurately inform about the joys, sorrows and the inevitable successes and failures I shall face. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship my duckies. Betwixt us...and gluten free bakery items!! HA!

This Just Proves It...

2010-06-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, today I randomly decided to update my humble blog. I've spent almost all of my day between scheduling classes for the Fall and searching out gluten free blueberry muffin recipes...(At Next I completely defiled my celiac's and gorged on pizza, bagels and blueberry muffins...It is not an experience I would like to repeat. I was literally hung over for days afterwords. I don't really remember much of Sunday or Monday...And that's sad...but the stories shall be forth coming at a later time so that you all may laugh at me and my gluten induced awkwardness. Seriously, I think I made a lot of people really mad! And what makes it even worse it that I don't remember doing it!) But I digress.

And I came across comments that have been made by various people, the Stranger and my ex-blond roommate of something resembling elvish decent, and I realized that I've never actually mentioned how much I appreciate the comments that get left for me. They really do brighten up my day and make me happy...(If only momentarily:) So, I thought I'd take this moment to say thanks! Its greatly appreciated and I'd say more, but scrambled eggs are calling and my stomach is grumbling and I can only think of food at the moment.

But thanks for reading and posting! Some of the comments still affect me even after all this time when I go back and read them.!

Commencement

2010-05-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

Sooo...A friend of mine (see dord defined) had commencement today...*sigh* He's gone and graduated from college as of today. What a day to graduate, Mother's Day of all days, I mean really! *shakes head*

So this is my congratulatory announcement to him. Great job! You've survived college and now have a B.A....Now, what was it you said? Something about going for a Phd?

There's good news and bad news for you hun...The good news? You're a third of the way done! Congratulations! Now all you have to do is survive another 3 or 4 years! Yay!

All joking aside, congratulations m'sieur! Can't wait to hear the stories..! and to see the pictures!

A Change of Pace

2010-04-29T20:26:00.001-07:00

Hello all ye weary travelers! And merry welcomes to ye too! I have at last returned, and while I haven't really been forgetful of this merry band of thoughts and travails I have been unable to actually post anything...Sad really, but utterly true. (And for today's morbid trivia: Louisa May Alcott died exactly 100 years and about 5 months before I was born...Such a pity:)

I'm of half a mind to blather on about politics...My latest love...And speak of my views...It is so interesting what one learns when one tries to learn, isn't it?

I have a question in general...I'm interested in learning whether or not Jesus is/was against political involvement. Personally, I'm disinclined to believe so. Everything that Jesus did was froth with political implications. While he was never directly involved in the wonderful world of politics her certainly was involved with people who were involved in politics. But time alone will be able to tell me what I long to know. To get involved, or not to get involved. 'Tis the question of the hour...And one I long to answer. But alas! This was not meant to be dreary and to burden thee with such ponderings....Go now and be at peace, life goes on and so shall we all.

That's Right...MORE Poetry!! (cue maniacal laughter)

2010-03-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today(or tonight depending) for your viewing pleasure we have the works of my two of my favorite poets. Namely E.E. Cummings and Arthur O'Shaughnessy....So firstly for ol'Arty!

Ode

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample the empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

And E.E. Cummings:

I Carry Your Heart With Me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

And now I shall leave you. I just thought I would post these. So enjoy!

- Rae

A Moment of Poetical Poetry...Otherwise Called: 'The Mood Struck Me'

2010-03-08T18:30:00.000-08:00

So Sunday I was feeling a little poetic and wrote some, you guessed it!, POETRY!!! (And you were wondering what I was doing...! You naughty cabbage you!) And so my duckies I decided that I would post it for your viewing pleasure and let you be the judge!

On a side note, all comments are going to be moderated by me from now on. Why? Well, unfortunately someone decided that it would be hysterical to spam by blog with their stupid spammy-ness instead of commenting. Which is what a normal person would do, the commenting not the spamming.

At Hand
Bound from
and by
our sin
slavery holding
us still
killed by
choices we'd
made.
Death alone
holds us now
where has
the bright
hope
of dawn
fled to
whilst
we've been
dying?
killed?
For nothing
from nothing
is gained.
And night
has engulfed
us till now.
Arise O Sleeper
arise!
And look
to the east
with the dawn.
For night now
from dawn's waking
must flee
and behold
our king
sets us free.
Arise O Sleeper
arise!
Hope now
at last
is at hand.
And
death now
to death
has been
put.
And life
we've
been given
anew.
So sing with the dawn
you who slept
For sin no longer can hold
and now power
below
or
above
can take us now
from His side.
Arise O Sleeper
arise!
Arise O my soul
and give thanks
for now
at last I am free!
For Jesus
Himself
set me
free.
And love has now
bought my life
how much more
now my heart?
Arise O my soul
and give thanks!
Forever
together
we'll be
never
now to depart.
His kingdom
forever shall stand.
His kingdom forever
shall stand.
And peace's King shall
forever now rule.
Together
forever
I'll stay
forever and always
His now.

For Lack of a Better Title

2010-02-01T16:12:00.000-08:00

So there's nothing really to 'report' on as it were...I'm part-way into the semester, again, and like some of my classes and can't stand others...Who really keeps up with the readings?? I mean, it's boring as all get out, and when you feel like the backside of a horse class readings are the last thing on your list...Or at least their the last things on my list. Whichever works for you.

Tonight I'm going to make Tiramisu, the gluten free version, and I am going to devour it like there's no tomorrow...Or at least like if I don't then my siblings and my roommate, the cookie monster (no joke), will eat it all first. Which is an entirely likely scenario let me tell you!!

Have I mentioned that I love Tiramisu?? No, well then let me take this moment to inform you of the wonders of this particular Italian cake. It's soft, moist, and creamy. It melts in your mouth and then leaves you with the delightful flavor of espresso afterwords. It's cheesy and, in my opinion this is the best part, it isn't incredibly sweet. The sweetness of the cake doesn't overwhelm you. It's a muted flavor that's kind of like oh, this is a custard-ish dish covered in cocoa and oh yeah, it's sweet too. Not that cloyingly annoying crap that is so sweet you can feel you teeth rotting. Yuck!! Ik! No, *shakes head* not like that. The Italians like to be subtle in their flavors, unless it's tomato (lol), and so the sugar content of this is a companion to the many flavors of the dish, not the main attraction. It is a light desert that is a wonderful way to finish (any) meal...At least in my opinion, which is why I'm going to make it! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!

Oh yeah, I went there...Look at me now!
- Rae

And You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Wyrder...(Boy Were You Wrong)

2010-01-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

So today I randomly decided to check my blog and low and behold people had left comments...Now this isn't normally odd, but this time it was people I don't know. So I'd like to take a moment and say, YAY UK!! Woot!! YAY!! Apparently my blog's made it to the UK, and that totally rocks! So all you UKers out there, leave me a comment! I find it interesting to know what people think, so start a conversation already! (Really, I'm that bored!!)

On another note, Monday I went to the phlebotomist to get my blood drawn to test for diabetes and other stuffs that I'm not aware of, and after getting stabbed three separate times in both arms, and having a burst vein, I was sent home. Literally, I was unable to bleed, there wasn't any blood when she pulled the needle out! And my brother was convinced that it's because I'm a vampire and therefore am unable to bleed.

So, she was like, umm..you're really dehydrated soooo...Drink a lot of water and then come back. So the next day I went back, after drinking an obscene amount of water (really, if 70% of the human body is water and then I was drinking enough water to make it like all 100%) and Tuesday I went in and was actually able to give blood! The lady got the blood that she needed to perform the stupid tests!

And now I'm left to wait....and wait....and wait....and wait...And I'm still waiting, and it's the waiting that's killing me. I want to know what my results are!! UGH!

And now I'm off to help plan the June Show....Until next time!

Wow...

2010-01-11T11:41:00.001-08:00

Since I've been diagnosed with Celiac's I've pretty much taken it to mean that my life, as I knew it, was over. And I promptly began the mourning process. Yeah, dark day at my house. It wasn't pretty.

But I have to say, once I started to do research on gluten-free recipes I started to see a silver lining. Ok, yes I have to make pretty much everything I eat from scratch. and yes I can't eat out anymore (I'm also really sensitive to chemicals. seriously, it's obscene I went to a friends wedding over the weekend (I'm so happy for you hun! and I can't believe she's married!) and I made the mistake of imbibing some of the punch...and I spent that night and the next day on my back (I kept feeling like I was going to pass out, was incredibly dizzy and my sight was fuzzy around the edges) so needless to say I'm not doing that again....Like ever!) but there's a silver lining here....Know what?! Know what?! I'm making and eating foods that I never would've otherwise....

Example? Applesauce. Now, many of you are probably already shaking your heads in exasperated wonder and thinking to yourself Self, is she serious? I've been making that for ages...And so have like a bazillion other people. Who's she kidding?? But let me tell you, I've never have I ever made applesauce. Never. And I don't know anyone in my family who's ever had the delight of ever making it either. So ha! I'm breaking ground!! Mwahahahaha!!! And when I'm done with that?? Know what??!! I'm going to ballet and then I'm going to make chocolate cake with espresso chocolate ganache icing...It's going to be warm and gooey and melt in my mouth and I'm going to melt into a puddle of Rae and enjoy every minute of it...

But that's just desert...So maybe being Celiac is the end of the world as I knew it, but hun, it's been the start of an entirely new one. (Yesterday I made salsa from scratch, loved every minute of it...Seriously I had the entire house eating out of my hand...Almost literally!! It was fun!) But I'm learning as I go, and making things I never would've even thought to make otherwise. So yeah, the world hasn't ended (yet) but I'm not suffering...I'm enjoying (almost) every moment!

~Rae

Canoli

2010-01-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

Hello my friends, so for New Years I thought I'd make something a little sweet for my family. Since I'm a relatively new Celiac I've been scouring the wired trying to come up with things that I can eat...Being a poor college student doesn't really help matters much, but I do what I can.

Having said that, I wanted to do something special. After all, it was going to be a quiet New Years with just me mum and I. I wanted something to commemorate the occasion. So I found a recipe for gluten-free canolo (which is the singular form of canoli). They are an Italian desert made from deep fried dough and then filled with sweet cheese and sweetened (I used honey) and chocolate.

They were a hit! It went better after I realized that the oil was at too high a temperature and was burning my canoli dough before it was cooked all the way through...Ah, the joys of learning and baking! But it was fun (I got my blond roommate of elfish decent to help out at the end) and then my housemates ate like 5 each! (which is quite an accomplishment since they're very sweet) Even my mom (who had 4 right after they were made) couldn't seem to put them down! The general consensus was that they were wonderful and the only way to show that wonderfulness was to gorge themselves until bursting and then to groan about it the rest of the night!!

Ha!

All in all it was a great time and I enjoyed watching their faces as they ate. It certainly made it worth it! Now to try my hand at gluten-free cinnamon rolls and then who knows?

For Those of Us Who've Been Adopted...

2009-12-25T19:05:00.000-08:00

So right now I'm so angry I'm literally shaking. I've reached the point where I need some kind of cathartic release or I'm going to scream or cry...And I'd rather avoid either reaction, if at all possible.

Christmas this year has been different from years past. I've had to rely on the Lord more this year than I have any other year. Mostly because of the situation with my mom, but also because of my own deteriorating health and the knowledge/fact that there is nothing, let me repeat that nothing that I can do to change my situation. The only one who can change anything is the same one who created the universe (and subsequently my situation). Harrowing thoughts (or sobering - take your pick).

This year was going fine. Between my mom and I we made dinner (I'm proud to say that the only thing she did was the turkey - I made everything else:)(small victory maybe but it's helped to make her day easier so mission accomplished)) and my grandmother came over and we ate. Maybe we weren't 'merry' per-say (she's a bit of a pessimist my gran) but it was family time and that made it special.

Right up until my gran decided to get my mom to call Aunt (technically she's my biological mother but a person doesn't qualify as a parent for abandoning their child to their sister because they're too busy pretending that they're 15 to actually take care of their child.) I would like to take an opportunity to talk to all the other adopted kids (or whatever your circumstance) out there...I know, you wonder about your parents and what they're like...But let me tell you something: Stop. I can speak from experience here and say you're better off wherever you are than you would be with them. It may be a terrible thing to say but I really would love to not know either of my mother. The only thing she's ever done for me was to give birth...Well, she also left me to my mom, so I guess that counts too. But I'm telling you: they're more trouble than they're worth. And maybe that's the anger and disappointment talking but it's true and it's said. Having said that. No sooner does con get on the phone than she starts yelling and arguing with my mom. Now, con knows that mom might have cancer, her reaction? "You're invading my privacy calling to tell me that." Or my personal favorite: "She's just saying that to get sympathy. She really wants something from me, I just don't know what it is." Let's just sum up and say con's a piece of work shall we??...

Everyone still with me? Good. Now, anyone who knows anything about cancer and waiting for the test results to come in knows it's a harrowing experience. You worry and imagine the worst case scenario because you don't know what else to do. You look at the survival rates and get emotional and start picturing your life without whoever it is who's sick. Needless to say it's one of the worst situations to be in. (Second only to getting a positive diagnosis. And my heart goes out to anyone with cancer and their families. You people are amazing. I'm struggling with despair and hopelessness and helplessness and we haven't even gotten the results back yet. You people are an example to the rest of us on perseverance and selflessness.) I had to fight the desire to drive out to her house and brain her. Seriously, I wanted to knock some sense into her. And I'm the easy-going quiet member of the family.

You can be proud of me (I'm a non-confrontational person at the best of times) I took the phone from my mom and told Con to stop complaining about her cold (like that even comes close to having cancer) and to start treating her sister like she's an actual person. To look beyond what she sees in the mirror and to care about someone other than herself. I'm still convinced I need to call her back and give her a rather large chunk of my mind. (God help her, fool she is) A confrontation is brewing. I will NOT sit idly by and let her treat my mother like this any longer! I don't care if she carried me around in her uterus for 9 months and spent hours giving birth. She needs to get her head out of her behind and suck it up and deal! Blaming everything on someone else (namely my mom) is a sick joke. It wont change what's happened and it wont make her right. Trying to get rid of the standard doesn't make her right, the standard still exists even if she wont acknowledge it, it just makes her stupid.

Maybe that's harsh and maybe I'm not living our my Christianity at the moment, but I needed some way to get this off my chest and this seemed like the best idea. Sorry.

Day-to-Day

2009-12-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas!!! (Merry Christmas!!)

As I'm sure ya'll know, today is Christams Eve. As such my family went to our church's candlelight Christmas Eve service. (man that's a mouthful) I ran into Jason (his blog is linked to mine on the panel (which ever side it's on) so you can go and bug him for me;) and we started to banter...(his sister was slightly appalled...or at least she was unsure whether or not to shake her head and walk away...Personally I think she was suffering from 'train syndrome'...You know, when you wanna look away from a train wreck, but ya just can't...)It was one of those moments. Very amusing. Seriously. You just had to be there....Anyway.

So there's this sort of bet going to see who ends up with the most posts by the end of the year...I'm bound and determined to win this...And I've got the motivation. I need a distraction from what's going on in my house. (I really just want to hurt my brother...I'm convinced the halves of men's brains don't start talking to each other until they reach 40...way to go bro, way to go. *shakes head*) (See previous post)

So this is the first in a (hopefully) long line of posts! I'm terribly sorry for you! ;p Next up is the running count of how many times Jason has scarred me emotionally and/or physically for the rest of my life...A sort of recounting of my scars for all to "see" (and laugh) (preferably at Jason (*wink*)) (preferably following the teasing that'll take place on his blog) (preferably without mentioning my name) (preferably some time soon) (I'm out of preferably's...sad)

So, that's all for now...Next up is what I got for Christmas...And how I spent my time...*sigh* I can't wait to impart the joyousness of the O'Neil love that's in my heart...There's an 'O'Neil' shaped hole in my heart that only he can fill....(lol) XD

Stop reading this already! I mean, I'm flattered and what not, but seriously. You're a scrooge! Go! Be gone with you! Spend time with your family already!! (that's where i'm headed next) you shouldn't still be here...I can understand the initial curiosity to know whether or not I've posted anything new, but this is just ridiculous! You shouldn't be reading this off by yourself in your dark, cold corner. Spend time with your family! It's Christmas for the love of Bob! (sorry Bob) Go! Don't make me hurt you!! (not that I want to (I don't in case you were wondering) because I don't but you should be spending what little time you have on this earth with the people who mean the most to you. Stop being so silly! *sigh* *shakes head* Honestly, you're just terrible!

Merry Freaking Christmas...

2009-12-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

Hey, all. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated but with things the way they are with my family it make it pretty difficult to get away to post.

So this Christmas is looking to be the worst in recorded history...At least for me and my family anyway. Why? Well that's easy, turns out my mom may have ovarian cancer. Right now the doctors aren't sure, but that's what our family doctor originally thought....So Christmas is in 8 days and this is the bomb that's been dropped on us.

It's interesting to watch the way people respond. As I'm sure you're all well aware different people respond to this kind of situation in different ways. And with the way my siblings are responding, it makes it all the harder. So far there's been denial and anger...Not sure what comes next, right now I'm just trying to roll with the punches, but I'm only going to be able to last so long (or so far). We need someone to be the calm one in this and I guess I got the job. Time will tell how everything goes. Currently I'm just praying it doesn't turn out to be cancer of any kind. But we rarely get what we want, that whole life isn't fair thing, and at this point I can't really say what God wants us to learn from all of this.

So yeah, Merry Christmas.

I Don't Suffer From Celiacs...I Enjoy Every Moment of It!!

2009-12-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

Alright. So I admit to being totally in love with cooking...It's a guilty pleasure that will make some dude totally happy...Seriously, my brother has told me I'm not 'allowed' to get married until after he does so he can 'enjoy' my cooking until the last possible moment! Oy! ..Anyway...I digress.

So, and I'm sure I'm not alone here, I'm a celiac. I'm griping because I'm addicted to the Food Network and they don't have any chefs/cooks who make gluten free foods...Heck, they don't make any foods for any people who have any kind of dietary requirement they have to meet. My complaint is simple. HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN COOK BY ALTERNATIVE MEANS!!! Seriously people, it's not that difficult to find someone who can cook let's say gluten free food without using garbage like white sugar or the like.

I mean, hello! Sucanat anyone?? Why is it that people like me, who absolutely love to cook and love to cook as close to nature as we can get, can't get any recipes from the Food Network (or our favorite chefs) that we can eat that wont kill us. Because, I have to be honest here, eating gluten for a celiac is like giving a pound of pure white sugar to a diabetic...It's murder that's what it is!

Why this sudden overwhelming need to verbalize this complaint you may be asking yourself...Well, that's easy to answer. I'm currently watching the Food Network and Ina Garten is making cheese puff pastries...And the only thing running through my mind is...Gee, that looks good. Too bad I can't even consider eating any!

And so it falls to me to create a recipe that's gluten free with an alternative sweetner that us celiacs can actually eat...And so I shall. Who says celiacs is a life sentence? I say thus: I don't suffer from celiac's...I enjoy every moment of it!!! Mwaha!

And so my troops, I give the rallying cry. I'm going to try my hand at gluten free cheese puff pastries...And you'll be the first to know how it turns out! Aha!

Happy Thanksgiving!! (Part 2)

2009-11-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

So...That was the recipe...Now it's time for the update. So I recently was brave and dyed my hair...(For the first time mind you) And it turned out really, really cool...I'm not going to say how or what it looks like in case I actually run into you and you get to see it for yourself. But suffice it to say that I'm pleasantly happy with it...And love it...(as much as anyone can love their hair color...)

I'm off of work for the next two weeks whilst my left hand heals up. Originally, we thought it was a sprain, but with all the wyrd stuff that my hand's been doing...Now, I'm not so sure. I'm gonna have a friend look at it and then decide if I should re-visit the doctor (not the one I originally saw..that was a fiasco and I don't want to repeat the experience) and see about getting some x-rays. So, while I'm happy about not working...(Hey, you would be too!! I've got tons of homework and projects to spend the next couple of weeks on and now I have the time to actually DO them!!) I'm not happy about the circumstances that brought it about.

And, can I say on a side note, that it's really, really difficult to post and type one-handed??!! I never really realized how much I use my left hand until I stopped being allowed to use it!! It's aweful! And everyone breathes down my neck: "DON'T USE YOUR LEFT HAND OR I'LL TIE YOUR ARM BEHIND YOUR BACK...Or something....!" *Ominous music plays*

But seriously, all in good fun, that whole "You never know what you've got till it's gone" thing totally applies!! And, since this whole experience has amused me to the point of absurdity, I thought I'd "pass it along." So, in all seriousness... Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy Thanksgiving!! (Part 1)

2009-11-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

So this year, I decided to post a recipe. It's not exactly something that I regularly do...(And we don't normally make it for Thanksgiving - The reason for that being that we don't write down our recipes - but I thought it'd be nice to give you a recipe and then update about meonsie.)

So...The recipe!! It's a dessert: which means yay sugar! And it's totally gluten free!! So people like me can eat to our hearts content without worrying about dying later...(And I mean it literally)

Baked Pears
- serves 8

8 while pears
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 cup red wine (I don't personally use this)
1/2 cup honey or maple syrup (or sucanat - which is what I use)
1/2 cup sweet cream (optional)

Combine lemon juice, wine and honey or syrup in a small pan. Bring to a simmer. Peel pears and core from the bottom end. Set on sides in a buttered pyrex dish and pour the wine mixture over them. Bake at 350 degrees for about 1/2 hour, turning and basting frequently. Carefully remove pears to a bowl and chill well. Meanwhile, pour syrup into a small saucepan and boil down until it thicken. Let cool.

To serve, place pears on individual plates and spoon sauce over.

Believe Again

2009-10-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

So here I am going through a rough patch. And I keep telling myself...I'll pray tomorrow. Or, God knows, so why isn't He doing anything. Or just little things like that where my faith and my hope are/have been slowly dwindling down. And I've just let myself get whittled down to a pretty vulnerable position spiritually and all I keep thinking about is...Man, how can I know if where I'm being led is God? I know He has things planned for me, and I keep telling myself that He wants good for me and that it isn't just a pat answer. But it just keeps running together in my mind.

I feel like I'm just kinda floating around waiting for something. And like I've got any clue what that something is. It's like the more pain I get into, or have, the more I pull away from God. And it's not like I don't know that that isn't the right response. But that's what I do to everyone...And anyone who knows me, well anyone who knows me well, will agree with that statement. I'm walking a path blindfolded and I keep asking myself "Why?"

So I've kind of come to this point where I realize, or am realizing, that sometimes faith and hope and all that "stuff" is more of a decision than an actual belief. I read an article (and I'll post the part that matters) and heard a song (I'll post the lyrics) and it just kinda made me cry. I was like...Umm..Ok God, I get the hint. I can take a message. It was a moment like that. When things just started to crystalize for me and I realized I've been going about this the entirely wrong way. It's kinda like in Facing the Giants when the coach tells his team that God will be praised. And they need to keep that in mind and be willing to praise Him whether or not they get what they want. That they need to praise God when they win and when they lose.

So here's the quote: "...Letting go and trusting that good can come out of that. About trusting that God is going to work out the details we can't control." - Lacy/Flyleaf

And the song is:

Again by Flyleaf

It's okay

To breathe as deep as you play

Your future with me is safe

You sing with my heart when you pray

Here you are down at my feet again

Handing it all back to me again

Right where I want you to be again

I love you

Please see and believe again

I love that you're never satisfied

With face value wisdom and happy lies

You take what they say and go back and cry

You're so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down at my feet again

Handing it all back to me again

Right where I want you to be again

I love you

Please see and believe again

They don't have to understand you

Be still

Wait and know I understand you

Be still

Here you are down at my feet again

Handing it all back to me again

Right where I want you to be again

I love you!

Here you are down at my feet

Handing it all back to me

Right where I want you to be again

I love you

Please see and believe again

So it's little wonder why I'm posting again...Seems like whenever something worth saying comes up I normally just keep it locked away where no one else can see. Safe and deep, like cards kept close to my chest. But this time I thought that I might as well say it. It's just like I finally felt able to admit that I'm having trouble and that this is an ongoing issue...And, yeah, I'm still struggling with this. But you know what? Sometimes it's the important stuff that we wrestle with again and again and again...Until we get an answer. So this is me. Waiting on God to come through for me like He said He would. And this is me being human, and saying...Sure, I'm not perfect. And people will see this and (I hope) misconceptions about me will be killed. Swiftly. And people will stop looking at me like I'm some kind of human-looking-machine and see the person behind it all. Cause it's that person who tries to glorify God and walk according to His standards and His ways. And it's all easier said than done. I'm not saying it's not, but in the end. I'd rather be struggling to get to where He wants me to go than end up where I want me to be. Every day I'm being changed from what I was before into what He sees me as. I am not the same person I was yesterday. I am not the same person I'll be tomorrow. I'm not who I was 8 years ago. And one day I'll be able to look back on this time and be like..."yeah, that's the lesson He was trying to teach me. And sure, it took me a while, but in the end I learned the lesson and now I can walk upright knowing that I won't fall. Because even when I stumble, He's there to help me get back up."

So for those of you wondering where I've gone and what I've been up to...Yeah, that was probably more than you wanted to know, but it's true so deal...;p

A Day In The Life...

2009-09-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

So the newest thing going on in my life happens to be pretty old. I'm taking a sewing class at Virginia Marti and the longer I stay on campus and the more I sew the harder it becomes for me to leave. Desperately do I want this. And there are things happening that leads me to believe (or hope) that God is leading me toward this destination. And now circumstances (or God) are making it seem possible for me to go and all i can do is act like a crazed fungirl on a pixie-stick induced sugar rush!So now ac come to my dilemma When does asking (or begging. take your pick) become presumption? When does a request become a demand? Where does the line exist? How do you know? H seems like 'inbeing led in this direction, but how dot know? Like beyond a shadow of doubt, 'this is God kind of know?! I want to be careful to not sign His name to something that's not His. I don't want to be one of those people who wants something then claims that' God' is the one behind it.How far is too far?

But that aside... I love my class and the professor is amazing! And the longer I spend there the morel wanna Stay! Oy!

Rae

Ashes to Ashes

2009-08-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the death of Molly. She was the family cat. She was black with a tuft of white fur and she was never far from our home or our hearts.

Like a breath of air we held her in our lungs. And when we exhaled...She was gone. And so we are berift without her presence. She was with us for but a short while and we were all of us touched in some way by her loving nature.

Her death was sudden and tragic and as I write this we have officially just finished burying her.

I ask for a moment of silence in honor of Molly.

Rae

I do indeed live!!!

2009-07-26T18:46:00.000-07:00

All,

It seems that is has been a long time since I have updated this humble little hole in the wall...This saddens me, but here I stand, figuratively speaking of course ;p, to ask forgiveness and to give, at least in part, and account for the why behind my silence.

There has been some upheaval of late in my immediate family. A collection of things piling up to steal my time away from you and your viewing pleasure. I am not at liberty to discuss exactly what has happened but know that it has been monumental and to a degree devastating.

Right now I am writing a story. Shocking I know, but none the less I have taken pen to paper as it were and am looking for someone to act as a sounding board for the prolouge. Just to see if it is passable as literature you see. But in any event, if you know someone who would like to see it, then by all means let me know...nudge, nudge..wink, wink...say no more...And who knows? Maybe the only reason that I think this is a passable story is because of the sleep deprivation that I have been subjected to as of late??...The world may never know...lol! ;p

Again...

2009-06-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I have once again altered the layout of my blog...Hope you like it...It's kinda difficult to actually figure out what to post...After all, why just randomly post about the stupidity that makes twitter so popular...You're not interested in what I'm doing at the moment, and quite frankly I'm not interested in telling you what I'm doing at the moment...So I've got to wrack my brain to come up with something that's pithy and witty and bright...(ok song moment...and I'm rambling...oy!)

In any event I shall simply leave you with this to ponder...(cookie to who can tell me, without looking it up, who wrote it)

Let me not to the marriage of true minda
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken,
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be
taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom...

A New Beginning

2009-02-18T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hello my darling readers! Thus begins, yet again, the new beginning of my wonderful blog. Yes, this is in fact the 2nd time that I've changed my blog, but as you can see there weren't that many changes to be made. I just added some color. Lol! ;)

Currently I'm on campus sitting in the basement at a computer lab waiting for my next class to start. Then it's back home for food and sleep so that I can be on my game for the production that I'm on wardrobe crew for.

All in all it's gonna be a busy couple of weeks and I won't be able to post much...Just so you're aware.

helloooooooo....

2009-02-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Hello my fresia eyed friends! What do you think of my new blog?? Est tres belle non?? Is it not amazing?? And oh so beautiful....*sigh* I'm thrilled beyond words...Ahh the wonders of networking...I guess it really doesn't hurt to know the right people...;p

But really, what do ya'll think? Isn't this amazing? Obviously there are a few kinks that'll eventually be worked out..But for now..This is my fabulous new home!!

Blue Chasing Red

2009-01-19T21:46:00.001-08:00

So here is another part to add to the previous post...

Psalm 37 (in part)23-25

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread."

Red Wanting Blue

2009-01-19T21:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm at a crossroad. Surrounded on all sides by choices and failures. And no matter which way I go, I always end up back at the beginning. Yes, a man may choose his way but the Lord directs his steps, but what happens when your caught in a tailspin with no power and no wind...What do you do when you're surrounded on all sides and have nowhere left to go...(and i'm assuming that you're not spending you time staring at your navel - you're looking skyward toward your Lord and savior)

What then? What is life? Is it some kind of accumulation of our work...Our school and then somehow are we nothing more than the culmination of our jobs? Is that how we are seen? As bubbles? Beautiful and fragile and gone.

I'm not sure what life is all about. Not really. But I do know what it isn't. And perhaps that can help. I admit, I'm completely lost at the moment. I've been reading Psalm 42

"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?" These things I remeber, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you tin turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remeber you from the land of Jordan and Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to Deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commandshis steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"

As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me continually, "where is your God?" Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

And that pretty much states where I am right now...

Full Circle

2009-01-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

And so it begins again. That's right folks, the semester is starting again....And I must somehow force myself to begin again the daily grind...Which is not the most pleasant thought to be having let me tell you!!

But on a completely different note: I have once again begun the excavation of my kitchen...Yes, I am once again baking...Oh, all sorts of things. Bread, scones, cookies...It's all really dependent on my mood these days. But it's been turning out well and that has been a blessing.

the official death of a great mind

2008-10-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

So after 2 weeks of straight studying my brain is officially fried. I can't even imagine myself reading another textbook...and I wont...not till I'm good and ready....(of course if I had my way that wouldn't be for quite a while) Not that it's surprising or anything.

It's funny. I have all these really deep things that I wanna say. To "dazzle" the world with my "intellect" and I can't help but sit here and be all..."hmmm. My brain really is dead." Because ya know what, I just don't have it in me. All the great lines and funny/snarky comments are completely asleep. And I'm staring at my bed and all I can think about is how wonderful it would be to just crawl into it and not wake up for a couple hundred years.

So I'm signing off for now. Because in the end, everyone needs to recharge. And tonight, I'm taking the time for me to sleep. So sweet dreams world. See you on the morrow.

Rae

Seeds

2008-10-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

In everyone
our thought
and deeds
all shape our
hearts
our souls
to see.

With everyday
our deeds
they say
our master
chosen
our hearts
his say.

To have
two masters
is possible - not
the seeds are
sown
our lives
the cost.

With every deed
those seeds
bear fruit
our heart
revealed
we follow suit.

(same deal...copyrighted...)

Masks

2008-10-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

What masks
we wear
all
bear in part
the pieces
hidden
of our broken
heart.

(btw that was copyrighted)

A Poll of Sorts

2008-10-06T16:36:00.000-07:00

So my fandom. I pose a question to you. I have some poetry that I've been considering posting, but am not entirely certain that I should. If ya'll say "yay" then post I shall, but if you say "nay" then think no more on the subject.

It's actually some of the first bits of poetry that I've written, just for myself. And not for a class. And being a "sensitive artist" I'm a bit wary of the responses that I'll get. But whatever!

Lemme know
Rae

Hello...Again!

2008-10-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Salutations and greetings my proud and faithful, *schya*, audience of readers!

I have been gone for too long a time and now am back. I hope to post most faithfully from now on...So check back often...Like every other day...;-p Just a heads up.

And now for a subject that I have yet to touch upon...Politics! Yes, one of the 2 subjects that everyone is warned against talking about when meeting/talking to new people. But I must now break that rule...After all, I would like to become some sort of foreign diplomat...

But I digress. With the way that things are looking now, i.e. the failing economy. And let's call it like it is people. Our economy is failing. And there's no nice way to say it. If we don't do something, and I'm not referring to the "widely acclaimed" idea to shove helium into a sieve...The 700 billion dollar bailout...Yeah, let me now in full express my views on that!

Both candidates swear, whatever good that'll do, that the new plan will not in fact take what little money Americans have left. I now laugh in their preverbial faces!!! Senator Obama claims, and he's been quoted as saying this on numerous occasions, that the new bailout will only tax...Drum roll please...The corporations!!

Once again, *rolls eyes*, how stupid do these people think we are??...Wait, don't answer that. They obviously believe we're beyond stupid...Oh, my beautiful audience. Do you know what a corporation is?? In actuality? ... No? Yes?

I'll tell you anyway. A corporation is a piece of paper! A bloody, worthless piece of paper! And the government wants to TAX IT!!!

I will now show my overwhelming faith in our governmental leaders! HA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You make me laugh! Hard! REALLY hard!

How much money do ya think they're gonna be able to get out of those "magical" pieces of paper??... Cause I'm gonna take a wild shot in the dark and say...Umm.. Nothing!

Now that's not to say that I'm against something being done. It's painfully obvious that we need some kind of help. But I'm merely taking this opportunity to point out that America isn't the only country suffering. Just about every other state in the world is suffering some kind of economic hardship...

I'm going to tell you something. You don't have to keep reading. It would be nice if you would, of course (claro). But it's not necessary.

There are quite a few schools of political thought in the world right now. Constructivism, Postmodernism, Feminism, Liberalism (which doesn't mean democrat), Realism (which doesn't mean rebublican) just to name a few. And the main tenents of the "main" thoughts. I.e. Liberalism and Realism are the differing perspectives on foreign policy.

Now Liberalism, fundamentally believes that men are inherintly good and can govern themselves. And any of you out there who know anything about humanity in general know how laughable that is. But they believe that given enough time and government we'll just, and I'm going to add my own personal "touch" to this - in case you're wondering I'm not just making this up, yes, I'm cutting through the jargon but I'm still using their own words - I'm just paraphrasing, "magically" come to the solution of all the world's problems. Because deep down, we all just wanna get along...And bad people are few and far between and all they really need is "reeducation" or whatever and they'll be modle citizens like the rest of us...These are the people that believe giving up part(s) of our, or any states really (and a "state" is really just tech talk for "nation"), sovereignty to organizations like the U.N. is for our own good and they'll help do away with things like genocide! They'll make the world a happy place where kitties can cross the street without getting hit by nasty cars too!! (Like it's just the icing on the cake)

Now don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with you if you happen to ascribe to this particular philosophy. I'm happy for you. Really. And I'm not being sarcastic. It's nice to meet someone who's so stinkin optomistic about life...It's just..Could you turn the shine down one your aura?? You're blinding me with your karma. And it's calling into sharp focus the fact that karma is probably just lying in wait to bite me in the preverbial tucas.

Now then you have the Realism camp. What could realists possibly believe in? You may ask...Good question.. After all, compared to those tree huggin liberals who wanna make peace with the squirrels, they're probably the evil, pessimistic party poopers who suck the fun out of life and are single-handedly responsible for there being black in the world...Oh, and goths. Can't forget about goths.

Now, I will offically tell you, and you can quote me. The UN is drastically ineffective there are several reasons for this. One of which being that the powerful seat holders who have veto power, like oh say Russia, are only looking out for their own best interests. Thus completely shooting themselves in the face. Oh, yeah. Way to go guys. So when liberals tell me that we should move aside and let the UN make some important decisions for our country...I just wann smack 'em silly. The only thing the UN member states care about is the best interest of their own state. So when states like France, or Russia say stuff like "oh hey America, we're looking out for you!" I just wanna hide under a rock. After all as the old addage goes, "with friends like that who needs enemies??"

But on a larger scale. So the UN wants to stop the world from ever being exposed to Genocide. Hence the President of

Well, they're not. They believe in the absolute sovereingty of a state. So when, Bush informed the ICC (international criminal court) that they didn't need to stick their noses into the investigation of the whole Guantanamo Bay thing. He was being a realist. But hey, let's not give realists a bad rep or anything...;-p

In the short version, *wink*, realists don't want to turn over national sovereignty to anyone outside of their country. Which is an interesting point of view. But they tend to be, what liberals call "war mongers." In that they are interested in strengthening their boarders nationally and making themselves..Oh, "hey attacking them would be stupid. They'd kill us in like that *snap*."

Riverdance!!! The Extravaganza!!

2008-04-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

For those of you wondering what this particular post means. . . . Scratch your heads no longer!! It means that I saw Riverdance. . . .Live! *sigh* If I was of a materialistic mindset I would take this opportunity to tell you that I can die happy, but I'm not so there's no real need to say that. . .

Anywayz, it was amazing and I spent the entire time watching them dance with the stupidest goofy grin on my face. . . .I think I can count the number of time that I blinked on one hand. . . Which is kind of pathetic when you think about it, but hey, whatever this is me after all.

I just thought I'd take the time to at least mention all the wonder that was the show that I saw. (and yes, I actually DID see it. Geez, if I hadn't then I wouldn't be able to blog about it now would I?? . . .) *unbeliever* ;-p

The costumes were amazing. . .Truth be told I wouldn't mind actually owning some of them. Of course I would need to *cough* change them a wee bit before I could wear them. . . Seeing as how my feminine sensibilities of modesty would hamper my walking around outside of the sanctity of my bedroom. lol. But hey, beggars can't be choosers. . .(somehow seeing that spelled out on the screen leaves me thinking that it's got to be wrong in some way shape or form. . .But spell check attests to its validity as a correctly spelled word so I shall have to turn a blind eye and pretend that it doesn't bother me. . . .which it does. greatly.)

The music was really close to the cd. Though the musical cast, as well as the dancing cast, was smaller than what one would expect, seeing as how it wasn't actually on broadway in New York. But I still liked it. The vocalists were wonderful and I admit to being enraptured. At least for the hour and some that I was listening and watching it all...

The main gal for the whole show was talented. No. Let me amend that. She was disgustingly, amazingly talented. There that should start to do her justice. Now on a side note, I am currently studying ballet, and it's not easy. Let me repeat that. Ballet. Is. Not. Easy! So for her to be able to dance across the stage, doing ballet no less, and make it look like she's gliding across the floor. Or floating on air. Or that ballet is effortless. . . . Man, I'm gonna be dancing till I'm 80 and I still wont be able to dance like that. . . *pouts* but I'm not jealous. (she's like twice my age, and she's been dancing longer than I've been alive) And I'm talented in other areas. But I'm not jealous of her. So stop suggesting it already! ;-p Yeesh!

All in all I'd have to say that it was an incredible experience and I loved every minute of it. To even be able to see it was an amazing blessing.

The systematic incongruous annihilation of my sentience

2008-03-06T00:55:00.000-08:00

So for those of you who were wondering, if any (feel free to raise your hand . . .err hands. whatever floats your boat. go on. . .) the reason that it's taken me almost a month give or take a few weeks to actually post again, despite my original acquiescence of posting-dom is in essence. . . . My laptop died. It's pushing up daisies. Six feet under. Bit the dust. Passed away. Bought the farm. Cashed in it's chips. Ceased all function. Croaked. Expired. Kicked the bucket. Met it's maker. (Not literally, I haven't sent it back to the manufacturer yet. . . If at all. But I thought I should leave the manufacturer out of this. . .) Passed on. Succumbed to the evils of this world and took its own existence into its own hands. Faded away into nothingness. Flew the coup. Fell off the edge of the world. Jumped off a cliff. . . . I could go on. (but I wont because I feel the need to be nice.)

One day it was working perfectly. . . . The next morning it would recognize the operating system . . . I hate windows vista. . . . *sob* T_T

Needless to say I'm still emotionally scarred from the experience....And that was about 3 weeks ago . . .*even louder sob* I may never see my beautiful laptop again . .. *buries face in hands* Why me??!! Oh cruel fates! Hath thou foundest a reason for thy anger against my lowly and dare I mention humble pice of technological confoundity??. . . .

Needless to say now that I have access to a computer again I shall once again play the keyboard.

Thoughts

2008-02-12T22:20:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking, I know! It's dangerous, but hey, I like to live dangerously...lol. Not really, but you get the idea. Anyway, I've been thinking, and ya'll remember the verse that talks about praying for your enemies and those who persecute you and what not...(sorry, but I don't have a Bible on me and it's the thought that's coming that I want to be specific about - not trying to step on any toes) Well I've been thinking about what it takes for someone to be able to pray for someone who's hurt you.

Crazy as it sounds I've experienced my fair share, although if you're up for hearing me whine I'd tell you that it's really more than my fair share, but you're not and I wont so we're moving on. And I've recently realized the importance and the impact of that verse or set of verses. (I know this sounds like a topic change but it's not - bear with me) There's this song by a band named Barlowgirl where they sing about revenge. And how the only way to get free is to release the need for revenge that's been driving them for so long...That it's the only way to be able to move on with their lives, to be people again. And it occurred to me that the Bible has something to say about this. Now they're right. Completely. But then I thought about this verse and it occurred to me that when you pray for someone who's hurt you, no matter how trivial, it's an act of God. We're human, we say we forgive someone but then we whine and complain about it for like ever. (there you go Jason - I threw the "like" in just for you ;-p) And the simple truth of the matter is that we haven't forgiven them and we haven't "forgotten" or even moved on. We're still stuck on the pain and the wrong of what was done to us. And no matter how much we try to convince ourselves and others that we're okay and we have forgiven and all that we really haven't. You know "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" . . .

My simple point is that it takes character to pray for someone who's hurt you. It's an active decision that says "yes, that hurt but I'm turning it and you over to God so he can deal with you"... And let me say that it's hard to do. Someone told me that you haven't really forgiven someone if you still feel pain when you think about the wrong that they committed against you. And while I don't exactly agree, it bears thinking about. If it still hurts, than we're not letting God deal with it. We're actively saying "No! I can handle this better than you can and I don't need your help dealing with this so move over and let me drive." Which is sin. It's a slap in the face of God and it's just wrong. Having said that, and gotten off of my soap box, as Christians we're called to a higher standard. We're supposed to turn the other cheek and that whole bit. But do we ever really do that? Sure, we tell each other and we remind each other, but it's usually when it's a situation that's easy for us to say that to the other person in because we're not feeling the difficulty of it all.

By praying for someone we're interceeding for them and making that person, or persons take you pick, a priority in our lives. We're telling God that that person means something and we're asking him to take special notice of them. Like Jesus does for us. So I say to you again, isn't it hard to pray for someone who's hurt you?

Who have you forgiven lately? . . .

I'm Back

2008-02-12T21:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back... And I feel the need to say that it's been a VERY long break. But I'm back from hiatus and I'm ready to post...Now all I need is something to say!!

Well, I think I'll start this off by mentioning a book that I'm reading. Currently I'm reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer and I have to admit to finding it amazing....And I'm only in the first chapter. So you can check back here to see what I think of it as I go along...

I'm going to be jumping on Jason's bandwagon as it were and going through the old messages, from the last 2 years, to get myself ready for this year. Partly because it sounded like fun, there's that "fun" word again ;-p, and partly because I'd actually like to develop a closer relationship to God than I've had in the past...But isn't that what everyone wants??

tHe BiRtHdAy oF bIrThDaY's

2007-11-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

Today is an amazing day in the household of yours truly! For today is my the day that my darling mother celebrates her day of birth! And of course she celebrates with her family....Which includes me! (No Squareularness here!! ;-p) Yesterday was, surprise surprise, my birthday...So it, the holidays, have the making of being quite interesting. Of course it stands to reason that everyone far and wide should wish her well on her special day...and if they don't....Well, I'll just have to hunt them down and do "horrible nightmarish visions" to them....(for all you invader Zim fans) Of course I couldn't really hurt them....Hmm...Maybe I could...After all...A doctor does need someone to doctor...of make better...or whatever...

Anyway! Just thought everyone would like an update!! I know I would...

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T11:34:00.000-08:00

Ahh, the joys of thanksgiving... A time for peace..Joy...Family....And for college professors to cackle evilly whilst they bury their poor unsuspecting students alive in homework....without proper warning...But that is the price that must be paid for getting an "education"...especially when it is something as expensive as college. But that is not the point...

But the point will have to come later...As I must now away with me...For the sake of family and peace and all of that wonderfulness....BTW I love this song....Just in case you were wondering.

----------------
Now playing: tobyMac - Ignition
via FoxyTunes

Shannon, you're gonna LOVE this. . . .

2007-11-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

Shannon dear, today I had the most interesting conversation with Jason, and Michael . . . .and Natalie and Indya and DeAnna and ....and....You get the idea....ANYWAY! So we were standing there talking....Well I guess I should start at the beginning....

So Jason was about to leave, I was walking out with his sisters, when I decided to tell him something...Well I had actually remembered it and told DeAnna to tell him, but we both agreed that I should probably see his face as it would be priceless...Which it was, but that's not the point at this particular moment...

Anyway so out I went...And I accosted him and told him that I had a confession to make, which made him look at me like he wasn't sure if he should be scared or amused...Probably both. (I'm not that bad am I? I know I tease, but I wasn't aware that I scare people that easily...) Anyway I proceeded to tell him that it's been about 2 1/2 months since I've been on Facebook...Which, oh Shannon I WISH you could've been there to see his face and the subsequent reaction...!! It was absolutely worth standing outside freezing to death because I forgot to take my coat with me when I went outside....I think I laughed for a good 10ish minutes...It was THAT priceless!! I actually managed to make the guy speechless...Granted it wasn't for long, but it's something. Or at least it's a start! Lol!

Anyway the conversation eventually went to the Jane Austen Facebook Groups that I'm a part of...And don't ask me how we got onto that subject....It's not exactly something you bring up to talk about to your guy friends, but hey! I remember how we got onto that subject! Michael, who was being Michael btw, mentioned that all the groups that he's a part of have something to do with fire arms...Which led me to mention that I have more refined taste....Albeit a more 18th century taste! ;-p So Jason started, we'll say "teasing" but it was more along the lines of "poking fun at" but in the end it's all the same basic thing so I don't care that much! Anyway

So he's going on about the different things that we'd talk about in that group....Which according to him, the height of which would be "talking about writing long letters on paper by hand" that's the gist of it anyway. But that was amusing, even though it led me to point out that what we talk about it wanting to meet guys like Mr. Darcy...And eventually to wonder why no one like Bingley....Anywho, then I said that we also talk about the guys we know who don't fit into that category, as in who doesn't count as a Mr. Darcy...Anyway Michael got it into his head that I was referring to current company....And in a way I was....Michael isn't a Darcy! lol! ROTFLOL!! ;-p but from a guy who absolutely refuses to be interested in what gals are interested in, or read the book, it's not really surprising. (Jason, just in case you were wondering I'm teasing Michael and I wasn't referring to either of you. Just to set the record straight) And they made a big show of being offended....Lol!!

Anyways! Sorry it took me so long to post this....My laptop froze halfway through and it took me a while to get it back up....that and I've had a horrible past couple of days...Shan, I really mean terrible! I swear if I keep getting stressed like I've been through this semester I'm going to get hospitalized or something...Like what happened with Jessie!

Jason, I did try to get it posted that night, Sunday night...But my laptop kinda was against it and then I had to study for an exam in my Chemistry class....The one that's a man-eating monster that also happens to be a vampire that wants to eat me and make me join its legion of the undead....

Game Show

2007-09-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

So I'm in a class called Intro to Computer Applications...I wouldn't normally take a class like this, although I would call myself computer/technologically challenged. But I'm taking it for my major, or so I can graduate sometime this century. And it turns out I absolutely love the professor!! He's completely amazing...And I'm considering a minor just so that I can see him more often....Although I already know I wont go with it just because I do want to graduate sometime soon.

Moving along....

This class is like a game show that you take notes during. There's a server, I think he designed it and what not, that we have to interact with and do all the assignments and what not on...But it gives extra credit....And you can buy things with the extra credit...Which is amazing...Oh, and there aren't any exams...Just a quiz every 5 weeks...Can you see why I'm loving this?? Anyway the extra credit that you can get when you're one on one with the server also applies, in a sense, to class - which has like 400 students. The screen goes blank and then a cartoonized character comes on screen and it's extra credit time...Where music and fanfare and confetti and host of other things all come into play to completely embarrass the poor kid who gets picked...Of course the extra credit at the end helps!! I so can't wait till it's my turn....If I took anymore time writing about it I'd be here for a while....And then I'd miss homegroup!!.. So...until next time kids!!

Hopeless Romanticism or Realistic Rationalism?

2007-08-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Bill Ihde recently preached a series of messages on marriage. Not surprising since he's always been the family man...According to my mother anyway, I was WAY to young to remember any of it. And I've been stewing on it and mulling it over and I think I've finally come to a conclusion.

As a girl I spend time, granted it isn't all of my time but it is some, thinking about marriage and the whole nine yards. This shouldn't come as a surprise, anyone who has a sister or is a girl knows and has experience with this sort of thing. But I always just assumed that I'd end up marrying a knight in shining armour or a fabulously fabled prince who would just come out of nowhere and marry me and we'd live a magically and ridiculously unrealistic happily ever after. But I've come to realize that there isn't any realism in that kind of thinking. Sure it's cute and the kind of thing that you'd see in a Disney movie, but how and where does it play out in real life?

When I examine all the ideas and preconceptions that I've carried around about marriage and love and falling in love I really find that things aren't what I thought that they'd be. I don't mean that I have no idea or anything, just that the whole I guess "dream" about the way that I would want things to be ideally just isn't ideal. Actually I realize that it doesn't leave room for what really matters. Even as a Christian my "dream" of it all has been skewed by the way the world looks at things. Bill talked about how a man worthy of marrying would want to leave the girl he's interested in in a better place both with God and in everyday living than when he met her. He would change her for the better, whether or not he actually walked down the aisle with her. He would work with and on her like a garden and treat her like a precious thing that was worth not just protecting but being cherished. So many of us girls in this world haven't been cherished by anyone and the thought that we're worth cherishing and that we deserve and should be cherished hasn't even crossed our minds. But I guess this is just another instance where the Lord knows better than we do.

The kind of guy we ladies like is as different as we are, and that's ok. The interesting thing is that all girls are looking for someone who makes them feel like they're worth something not just because they're beautiful or attractive or an object of desire but because there is something about them, I think it's our souls whether or not the guy in question actually realizes it or not, that they see and can't help but find value and I don't know something special in. It's the ones that make you feel special that make the cut. Personally I believe that in those instances they're not just seeing us, they're seeing a part of God that is speaking to them and blowing their minds away. In Genesis it talks about how the creation of the world wasn't complete until God made woman. Ladies, we're the crown of creation, if it wasn't for us things wouldn't be "good" or complete. So I have to believe that being a hopeless romantic isn't such a bad thing after all. I'll leave off with a quote, from Hitch - which was a moderately ok movie, "Any man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom." Or in this case he needs to have the right idea of who to use the broom on!! ;-p

Spring Cleaning

2007-08-15T15:39:00.001-07:00

Since I have been "spring cleaning" recently, and I still have it on the brain, I thought I would share some observations and insights with you.

We are like a cupboard. Profound huh??.. I like it. And to prove my point: we holds things from the small cups of sorrow or joy to the plates of plenty. We lock them into our hearts and minds and we don't let them go. The good, the bad and the ugly, it all resides within. Our sin is like the dust that accumulates around our collective "stuff" and dulls it and makes us nasty and grimy and completely unfit to hold eating utensils. Yet we use it still. Why? Because it is safe, and normal - if anyone knows someone who is interested in creating a way to hold dishes other than a cupboard then please let me know...I'd LOVE to NOT have to clean it...I'm allergic to dust...Ahh a world without dust....But I digress...Back to cupboards. - and we don't know another way of doing things that doesn't include our sin. Let's be honest with ourselves, we LIKE our sin. It's comfortable and it makes us happy. Not in a lasting way, or in a way that gives us joy...But we all enjoy revenge now and again, or losing our temper...Or not screening what we say when we're talking to someone and we're upset...It's the little things. And they matter. They add up. Little by little and we still, like a dog, go back to our vomit... There, I said it, but I don't like the imagery...Just so we're clear. It's God that comes in and takes everything out and starts to clean up the mess that we've made of ourselves and our lives. He moves our plates and dusts off our dreams, and in some cases throws them out and then he gives us new ones. And then he puts them back onto the nice, CLEAN, and sanitary shelf and deposits a little bit of himself in our cabinet, to keep things looking spankin'.

So I say again. We are like cabinets, and we are desperately in need of some cleaning.

A New Beginning

2007-08-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hello my vermilion eyed visischwa of verbiage,

I am back. After a much needed, sought after and untimely silence, I am back. Who's to say what random or otherwise thoughts will fill my head and the walls of this blog. It could be anything. And it certainly will be interesting. At least to me.

The silence is over, I have a new computer and I shall use it mightily. (For those of you left wondering WHY I have allowed such a lapse in posting let me tell you. My old computer crashed and is otherwise now known as a glorified paperweight. But I now have a new computer and I'm going to use it.)

No longer shall the halls of this blog be shadowed in darkness. It shall again be filled with my thoughts....Whether liked, which I hope it/they will be, or not. I haven't stoped thinking just because I've stopped posting.

Love,
me

Grocery Store Wars

2007-03-15T14:07:00.001-07:00

This is great! And all of you Star Wars fans will be able to appreciate it!!

GROCERY STORE WARS!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-15T09:08:00.001-07:00

VIVA LE MOUTHELUTION!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

2007-03-13T12:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm not sure I told anyone about this...But Thursday I'm competing in a speech competition....No pressure.....Right??...Dude...If I stress about this anymore than I already am I'll die of a heart attack!! Seriously!! I am so doomed!! Ok, so I know I can do all things through Christ...But I'm starting to think I'm gonna die....or at least that entering was a bad idea...So there's like 2 rounds. There are 6 rooms and in each room there are 7 people each competing for a spot in the final 6...So there can only be one winner from each room...And then they compete in front of a live audience...For one of 6 places...The only ones worth mentioning are the first 3...First place wins a plaque..500 dollars and a lithograph worth $500....plus about $200 in "gifts" whatever THAT means....2nd place is $300 and third place is $100...All places win a plaque...I have an exam earlier that day...and the competition is from 6pm to 9pm....and all I can say is..."help me...!!!....Heeeeeeeeeeeelllllpppp meeeeeeeee!!!..........." or "we're all gonna DIE!!!"...Yes, I am nervous!! Which I have to say is an interesting place to be in....I HATE this!! I have 6 minutes to try to give a persuasive speech and I'm so...ARGH!! this is SO over-rated!! On the one hand I'm like....Sweet!! I could SO go for the $500.....but then again...I have SO much to do to be ready that I'm like!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!....There HAS to be a middle ground!! It can't be like this for the next two days!!! I'll die!! Seriously!! The stress alone'll kill me! I guess I'll just have to try to think about this as a test.....of some kind.....and that I'll just have to put on some kind of persona....well...not in those words exactly but you get the idea....I never really saw myself as someone who'd get nervous about public speaking.....well..It's not really the speaking but the COMPETING that's got me running and hiding under my desk in abject terror......Who'd have thought all my shy notions would suddenly come back with a vengeance!!! Ugh!!

Jason, So You Wanted To See My Latest Facebook Profile Picture........

2007-03-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

So the following is a picture from my Make-up for Stage and Screen class from last semester. . . . . It is not two pictures photo shopped together, but rather one picture....Everything was done in halves. The wig is only a half, the hat was only a half and I only did half of my face to look female and half to look male.....etc...So here are the results...I welcome your predictions and comments!! I just WISH I could see the looks on your sisters, and mothers, faces when they see this picture Jason...So you're going to have to either take a picture of their reactions or videotape it!!! And I'm DEAD serious here!!!

New Attitude 2007 Conference Promo

2007-01-29T10:15:00.001-08:00

For those of us who have been here....Who went for the May 2006 conference...Then you'll recognize this...Otherwise...For the ones who didn't go...Go...Come..Enjoy this blessing with the rest of us.

Ok so this really touched me...

2006-12-07T19:39:00.000-08:00

So whenever I'm around people I have this...how do I delicately term this....problem with thinking that people hate me....Anyway so I was working, and yes I mean working. You see I have this belief that when you do something you should do it right the first time...And that you do it to the glory of God...and most people my age....well...they just don't see work that way. But I was helping with the June Dance show, and I could REALLY speak about that!, and I was working backstage. Which I don't normally do. I'm more of a front and center stage kinda gal. But I noticed that before each dance most of the girls got...a bit scared...and I decided that I would try to make it a little easier, not to mention helping them find their props and keep track of thier jewlery- which an earring didn't make it and I still feel bad about it-and so I, true to form, told joke and we sang songs and told stories and applauded and the like before and after...To make them feel ok about it all. And so Mrs. H asked me if I wanted to do it again this year....To which I said sure...Who wouldn't like an excuse to be around their friends and to see those friends dance....Like Monica!!! And somehow she ended up telling the dance girls about it...Don't ask me how....And they were so thrilled about it that they were like excited and happy..Now I have to step back and look at this from an objective perspective...WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO THAT WAS SO MARCIFULLY GREAT??!!! I mean a smile here a laugh there and some generous applause doesn't equal giddy dance girls! So they're excited to get to work with me for the Christmas show...And I'm touched that they even care/cared....And I can't help but wonder what in the merciful world I did to deserve that kinda reaction...But yeah...I just thought I'd share that....Have a great week.....end...

I'm not computer illiterate...I'm just technologically challeneged....

2006-12-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

Well...I was on the marvelous invention, the computer, today...And I noticed something incredible...I know practically nothing....Now don't look shocked! I was given the blue screen of death and I found myself not only at a loss for words but at a loss of action!! What was I to do?? So I did the SCIENTIFICAL thing to do...Iny Minie Minie Moe...Until I came up with an answer...Which turned out to be to just stare at the thing....But ALAS!!! I fixed nothing...I learned nothing and I was left with a computer sized hole in my heart! Why? I know quite a bit about the human body...At least I have been told so. And I know how to cook and bake...to various degrees of success. But when faced with this thing...This piece of modern equipment that those around me sing the praises of, while they talk about how wonderful it is and how there hasn't been anything this wonderful since sliced bread...I can only wonder....Is there something wrong with me?? I realize that I have been called stupid...That I have the "midas" touch of doom when it comes to mechanics...But throwing aside my terrible luck with all things mechanical...Where did I go wrong?? WAS I even the one who went wrong?? No, I determined!! The fault lay with another!! MY MOTHER!!! That's right noble visage! MY OWN MOTHER!! The woman who has done so much for me went and made me technalogically...."special" .....and I am left with only the pain in my heart to comfort myself with! When noble souls try to teach me, my mothers training kicks in and all I hear is nonsensical gibberish and Latin....AND I SPEAK ENGLISH DARN IT!!! When these thoughts had run through my head I noticed that the sky was bluer...And that I wasn't alone...Yes, millions of American's, and I'd be willing to bet other nationals, HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH A COMPUTER when there is anything but smooth sailing...That's right!! I'm not alone! There are others who see a wigged out computer as a glorified paper weight! Redemption, though only capable through Christ you know what I mean here!!!, was at hand!! I decided that stupid I am, at least to a point, and I can accept that!! YOU HEAR ME GREAT GOD OF THE COMPUTER INDUSTRY!!! SMITE ME OH MIGHTY SMIGHTER!!!!...*sigh* Now that I've gotten that out of my system....In closing I only can say to those of you reading this who happen to be technical kung-fu masters whose kung-fu is strong...Look kindly upon us humble technilogically challeneged souls....We couldn't help it...Our mothers made us this way!!

I Once Was Lost But Now Am Found....Was Lost In The Dark But Now Am In The Light!!!

2006-11-26T19:05:00.001-08:00

All!
Today is an interesting day. Aside from coming to a mind boggling conclusion.....Which I shall now allude to that you may share in my perplexity and amusement.
I have a friend, and you know who you are, who has been "hinting" that I have a problem. Namely that I am disturbingly addicted to Facebook. Which is a problem as I value what that friend has to say. And the friend in question has taken to laughing every time he sees me coming for the amusement that my addiction causes him. Though he has no respect for the struggling artist who is addicted to the power of always being able to procrastinate and goof off...Yes, Facebook is many things. All of them imposible, and the most important one is that it is addicting and aweful. Facebook, I am now convinced, was created soley for the purpose of giving college students an opportunity to waste time that might otherwise be spent usefully. Not that that is always bad. On the contrary it can be GOOD....It can be VERY good....But that is not usually the case. And that is the problem. But it is used by the wyrd people of the world to find their next victim. Yes, it is a cruel world and you are now fully informed. Facebook is pure evil.
But this is all to say that I am going on Facebook Hiatus.....At least from many parts of it...I shall still respond to messages that are being sent to me by friends that I don't normally see...It would be a shame to ignore them....But I shall take a break to come to a realization of myself and my goals and to come to a better understanding of where I am going in life and just HOW I intend to get there....But if I can do all of that in a day...Then imagine what I could do with 7 days....
My friend and I are starting a Non-Profit Organization that accepts donations from concerned parents. And we shall make T-Shirts for our patients to wear. And we shall help THE HELPLESS TO OVERCOME THEIR AWEFUL ADDICTION!!!! YES!! WE SHALL CHANGE THE WORLD!!! ONE T-SHIRT AT A TIME....ONE CONCERNED PARENT AT A TIME!!!!! THE WORLD SHALL BE CLEANSED FROM THE MIGHTY EVIL OF THE FACEBOOK!!!...yeah..ok...that's enough of that....We shall be giving therapy to the many children of the concerned parent(s) and showing them the error of their ways....And lead them to the LIGHT!!! YES WE SHALL LEAD THE TORTURED CHILDREN TO THE LIGHT!!! AWAY FROM THE EVIL DARKNESS THAT FACEBOOK HAS BECOME!!!!
And if you need help, contact information shall become available upon request.....This isn't free...But the t-shirts will be...Once we get donations......

My Great Apologies....

2006-11-21T20:41:00.000-08:00

Well...Today is a sad day for me...I have come to realize that I haven't posted anything
worth reading in over a month....This saddens me....As I have lost....hmm...Wait....What
HAVE I lost exactly....I'm not entirely sure....But IF I HAD lost something it would be
the interest of my readers/viewers. That is a sad thing to loose...I am in morning....I
shall wear black for the next 10 minutes......1..........2........3.........4...........5.............6......
7.............8..................9....................10.........................Ok. 10 minutes over....
It has been brought to my attention that I am uninteresting, unimaginative, and all
together boring....I shall let you wait a moment to let that sink in....Yes, for all of you
"lucky" people who know me, I have FINALLY been told the truth. I am boring.
Of all the things to be told, that MUST be the worst. And I have finally been told it.
That hurts on a personal level.....Here....*beats heart* I am now left wondering what
I am fit for. My life is oddly empty....ok...Drama over. Seriously though. I haven't
written anything worth reading for quite a long time....And for those of you who have
actually checked....Congrats! You're VERY special....And possibly stalking me......
Oh, well....I guess I can't have it all....But I suppose I shall now relate a funny story....
Or at least a story I find amusing....You must judge whether or not it meets company
standards....So I am in a poetry and story writing class....Ok...Fine...It's an INTRO to
creative writing.....THERE! Happy??And the professor is......."Interesting"...she is of
the opinion that my writing is SO terrible that when she hands it back you can barely
distinguish the actual typing from all the blood from her red pen....And for those of
you who don't write....That means she makes it bleed....And it is the red pen of doom!!!
RUN!!! THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING!!!! CIVILIZATION IS COMING TO
AN END AS WE KNOW IT!!!!! THE RED PEN OF DOOM...doom..doom...doom....doom...
HAS BEEN BROUGHT OUT!!!! MY LIFE IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!*terrible
and unrelatable screams*So when we do poetry we aren't allowed to rhyme. And when
I say that the storm will break....What is the first thing that comes to mind??.............
I'll give you a couple of seconds..........The STORM WILL START!!!??? She told
me that when I used that phrase it was confusing and that she didn't know what I MEANT!!!
FOR PITY'S SAKE, I am sorry pity that I must use your name like this but I must so bear
with me.......You can send me the damage charges later....She then proceeded to ask the
REST of the class, all 4 of them, what THEY thought and NO ONE KNEW WHAT THE
PITY I MEANT! I call that Irony...And that means that my life is now full of it...But aside from
that rant, I'm very sorry that I made you "listen" to it, things have been normal. Well...As
normal as things get for me....Hmm....That doesn't really qualify as a "funny" story....More
like a sad one....Ok! I know!!! I'll tell a joke!!! HEY!!!! GET BACK HERE!!! That WASN'T your cue to run and hide!!! hehe.... I learned this joke in gradeschool...So 3 guys walk into a bar and the 4th one ducks.....o.O................ok...It wasn't THAT lame....mebbe just a 4 on the lame-o-meter......bear with me....So the stage make-up that has red in it...Well I was told that the red can cause blindness when put near the eye....So naturally I have been trying to avoid it like it's the plague....But that isn't possible when it is an intrigal part of turning yourself into a cat....
Don't ask it's just too painful!
Hmm....So I will be doing most, if not all, of the cooking for Thanksgiving....It's kinda part of the Birthday present I'm giving my Mom...That way she can talk to ME while I cook instead of the other way around...Not that that really happens like that...I usually help with most of the cooking, but there are some things that I just don't cook. And I thought that this year, since I'm old enough, I'd give her a break for a change and do it myself....So if you end up hearing that we ate take-out then don't be surprised!!!
Have a GREAT Turkey DAY!!!!(Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!! Turkey Day just sounds cuter)

The Healer as she is.....

2006-11-19T14:37:00.000-08:00

Many have wondered how I truly look....Now you know...I think this pic is better than the other one....But that's just me...

Embarassment of Epic Proportions ....For many COG guys....You know who you are....BWAHA!!!

2006-11-19T13:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrb4u29pjf4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxKBR6CYEoE

If you know Brian Chima...yeah...Be afraid...Be VERY afraid....I know I am....He has WAY too much time on his hands! Someone needs to get that boy a hobby......Wow...yeah...um..that's pretty much it...wow.....*sigh* I just don't get it....

A Contest of Epic PROPORTIONS.....................

2006-10-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

Here Ye...Here Ye... I have now decided that the WONDERFUL DYNAMIC DUO, you two know who you are, need a theme song...So You all must make one!!
That's right. I'm asking you, the faithful. The few. The proud, the Brave. To make a theme song for a couple of wonderful gals.....No naming names...Not yet...But you must post you entries before a time that shall be anounced at a later date....And please, be original...I already TRIED to get rights to the Batman theme song....It didn't work out...

A CONTEST OF EPIC PROPORTIONS...............

2006-10-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

The Car of DOOM!!!!

2006-10-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ok so you all pretty much know that I've been trying to get a car . . . And my grandmother doesn't drive and has a car that is literally just collecting dust in her garage. So it's a match made in heaven . . . Anywho so she has told me that she'll give me the car and then later that day she changes her mind only to change her mind AGAIN the next morning. . . And we've been going through this for several days. . . . . So last night we prayed about it and she finally let us come and get this car that hasn't been started in like 3 or 4 years . . . . And now it's sitting on the backyard lawn getting cleaned off by all the rain . . . And the only thing left to do is have it checked to see if it's safe to drive . . . BUT I AM SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!! HAPPY ME HAPPY ME HAPPY ME!!! OH LALA!!! I'M SOOOO HAPPY!! I'M HAPPY, SO HAPPY . . . ALL THE TIME!!!! AHH I LOVE GOD!!! He is so amazing!! He takes a situation that would otherwise be explosive and turns it into something that is a wonderful blessing to my and mine!!!! GIVE HIM HIS PROPS!!! He Rox HARD!!! YAY!!!!

A poem presentation . . . Sweet Melancholy!

2006-10-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

This poem is kinda on the bitter side, but I find it amusing! Lemme know whatcha think!!
Revenge by Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Ay, gaze upon her rose-wreath'd hair,
And gaze upon her smile;
Seem as you drank the very air
Her breath perfumed the while;

And wake for her the gifted line,
That wild and witching lay,
And swear your heart is as a shrine,
That only holds her sway.

'Tis well: I am revenged at last;--
Mark you that scornful cheek,--
The eye averted as you pass'd,
Spoke more than words could speak.

Ay, now by all the bitter tears
That I have shed for thee,--
The racking doubts the burning fears,--
Avenged they well may be--

By the nights pass'd in sleepless care,
The days of endless woe;
All that you taught my heart to bear,
All that yourself will know.

I would not wish to see you laid
Within an early tomb;
I should forget how you betray'd,
And only weep your doom:

Vut this is fitting punishment,
To live and love in vain,--
O my wrung heart, be thou content,
And feed upon his pain.

Go thou and watch her lightest sigh,--
Thine own it will not be;
And bask beneath her sunny eye,--
It will not turn on thee.

'Tis well: the rack, the chain, the wheel,
Far better hadst thou proved;
Ev'n I could almost pity feel,
For thou art not beloved.

Me, Myself and I

2006-09-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well in order to put up this pic I had to put it on the web. So here is the pic and something funny to boot! I was wondering if ya'll thought is this was a good pic or not??
Not much to upload. My Mom and I are both sick and I, and prolly her too, am getting sick of all this coughing! It is starting to be painful, in a I laugh and cough at the same time . . . Wait! That's just another form of multi-tasking!! Hey! I might be creating a new art form!! Or even a new hobby. . . . Hmm . . . Soo many possibilities!! . . . .

A NEW DAY HAS DAWNED!!! And anyone with a younger brother will be able to realte, if not now than later in life!!

2006-09-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today REALLY makes me feel old. . . . My little Bro' the kid I've been looking out for forever is stronger than I am . . . That in and of itself doesn't bother me but he lifted me up no prob. . . . Man I feel old. . . . Next thing I know he'll be so tall I'll have to bend over backwards to look him in the face . . . Being the older sibling just ain't what it'z cracked up to be.

On the other hand I also feel pretty good. If he can pick me up . . . . Yeah if you're a girl you're prolly where I am at the whole weight thing!! . . . So maybe it's not SO bad. After all right now I feel pretty good. . .

The truth about the Irish post

2006-09-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I was look at some groups on facebook and an Irish one had that on their page as part of the info about them. I kinda liked the poems so I "borrowed" them to post on my blog. . . Since they weren't copyrighted I feel no obligation to start spouting legal mumbo jumbo.

On another note I'm in a Creative Writing class and the professor reminds me of professor Trilawny, a Harry Potter reference from years ago when I read it, and so my last post was the poem that I wrote for class today. You see we have a poem do every Friday and so I had Mom and Kat read it over to proof read it for me and since they died laughing I thought that I would share it with the world. So here world! Love my baby!! And if you don't . . . . .!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Yeah, so aside from being as tired as a dying animal, I thought I'd try a different simile than the whole dead tired thing . . . Tonight is FRIDAY!! YAY!!! I LOVE YOU FRIDAY!!! I just wish they hadn't gotten ride of Christopher Eccleston!! He was a GREAT Doctor Who!!
Ahh well . . .

The Rain

2006-09-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

The Rain

Whispering winds wash over me like a caress,

I am waiting for the calmness to pass away.

Slowly the clouds start to mass like teenagers at a chip bowl,

The storm will break soon, the inevitability is comforting.

Soft warm water washes over me with the strength of a sprinkler,

The rain feels like the world is crying with me.

Are they tears of pain or tears of joy?

To me the are the tears of happiness at the magnificence of the scene before me,

I feel as though it has carried me away.

The rain is all around me,

And yet it is also a part of me.

The world is quiet here.

Everything you ever wanted to know about being Irish, but were afraid to ask!

2006-09-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me!

If you’re lucky enough to be Irish... You’re lucky enough!

"May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you
In the palm of his hand."

ASL teacher or Escaped Convict on the run?

2006-08-29T13:14:00.000-07:00

Well classes started yesterday and things were going pretty well, I have to be at school at 7AM and I get to go home around 7PM, when I got to my Applied Phonetics class. It appears me Prof. thinks I should be in another class WITH the one I'm taking so now I have to actually GET IN the class! - For those inquiring minds - I talked to the senior secretary of the Speech Path. and Audiology Department and she told me she'd get me in . . . Or at least TRY to . . . - But she is not the prof. in question. My ASL, American Sign Language, professor is an interesting lady. . . . She has the look and air of someone evading justice and aside from creeping both me AND Kat out she sorta spaced in and out from Zombie to Convict . . . Kat said she died in that class and that the SG-1 team came and put her in a sarcophagus and resuscitated her and NO ONE NOTICED!! My response was DARN!!! I MISSED IT!!!! Anywho needless to say aside from being zoned I dropped the class and am no free from the constant worry that I might have otherwise had to endure about my runaway professor.

Passion about life

2006-08-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

Columbine. No one hears that name without knowing what happened. How could we not? How could anyone forget the event that told parents that their children weren't "safe" anymore when they went off to school. Personally it makes my blood boil. It could've been prevented you know. Most people just ignore me when I get this far. " Ahh, but now you're into wishful thinking." I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. But it doesn't make it less true. It doesn't change reality. There is a story behind columbine, there is ALWAYS a story. How many people actually know it?
The boys in question, the ones who chattered so many lives, we ordinary boys. They were boys who were hurt. Repeatedly. We've all been in that place. The cool kids don't like you, for whatever reason, so no one will talk to you because they want to be able to pretend that the cool kids like them. When in fact they don't. Watch Frank Peretti's Hangman's Curse. Crystal and Ian are those kids. The difference lies in how the situation is handled.
So now we come to my proposal. If even 1 person had reached out to those boys then maybe things wouldn't have turned out the same way. If someone had tried to help them, love them, accept them as they were. And tried to befriend them. Ahh the power of love. It is like a healing balm that washes the soul and helps to drive out the darkness. It tells us that when the night turns to morning, everything will be alright.
But no one did. That is the problem. Everyone goes about in their lives ignoring everyone else because they're in too much pain to care. They tell themselves it's not their problem and that they shouldn't get involved. But they should. If more people started caring about other people and less about themselves then we would live in a different world. Where things like this would happen less and less. . . . Who knows it might even save lives.
No one thinks about the people that God puts in their way most of the time. Like they can't even see them. But those people may be hurting in ways you might not know, and maybe just maybe a smile from you or a kind word. It might make all the difference. Because it might give them the strength to keep going. To live. To try. Because people like them need hope. And people like us should be giving it. So why aren't we? Don't wait for tomorrow. It may never come. Reach out today and save a life one act of kindness at a time. Who knows. It might be what you're remembered for after you've died. Because after all, what is more important? What you're going through? Or that persons life? It starts with a decision and we make it daily. So come on. What's stopping you?

Good Old Fashioned Hillbilly Fun

2006-08-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday my sister, a friend of ours and myself, and the rest of our family, went out to go a shootin'. Yes, I do mean that I actually went out, just for fun mind you, and bought and shot ammunition. And I was pretty good for someone who hasn't done that sort of thing before. If I may say so myself. A double barrel shot gun and a single barrel shot gun. Although my personal favorite was the single barrel. We shot skeet, well Mom and Mike shot skeet and then they put it out quite a distance away and then I shot 3 skeet to my great amusement! All in all it was fun. Although I may not be repeating the experience, at least in the sense of WHERE we went shooting, and I highly doubt that it was for the last time.

I admit that it was fun and it also happens to be a GREAT way to get out aggression . . . Not that I need to mind you . . . . But everyone gets angry so it helps!!

Kat and I were in Sam's Club today and we were passing the whole BIG INSANELY FRIVILOUS TV section and they had a ps2 and a guitar game hooked up and it had a little guitar that reminded me of the kind of guitar that you would buy for a toddler. . . Anywho it was fun, right before we had to leave Kat got the hang of it and we stopped getting booed off the stage . . . . It was quite the spectacle . . . But I enjoyed it. . . .It reminded me of a game I already have called Frequency. . . Which I like as well.

A sad testimony of a long distance relationship gone horribly, HORRIBLY WRONG!

2006-07-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

Jessie I have but this to say to you,

I inexorably blame you! There it HAS FINALLY BEEN SAID!! The truth was eventually going to come out and so what that the time was now. . . Throw all caution to the wind. Let your TRUE SELF BECOME APPARENT!! We ARE LEAVES ON THE WIND WATCH HOW WE SOAR!!!

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I caught you sinus infection . . . And it's a bloody bad one! I also just wanted to say FOR SHAME!! You haven't even e-mailed me in over 2 WHOLE WEEKS!! The love I feel at this moment is STRANGLING ME!! ^_~

Actually, I didn't catch a sinus infection from you, but I thought it would make for an interesting post. I do have one though and it is annoying the Bob out of me!!

YOU HAD BETTER E-MAIL ME SOON THOUGH!!

Ah, Tis a Lovelyeth Morn' For Shakespeare

2006-07-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

Ah, Hear ye! Hear ye! All who haveth sought the knowledge contained herein in my vasteth braineth. Thy time to learneth mightily is nigh!!

Foreth tonighteth and tonighteth onily shall thy unquenchable thirst be satisfied! Verily I say unto you unless you wish to be mightily ignorant thou shalt taketh advantageth ofeth this offereth of savingeth knowledge! Ask the oldeth man ofeth the mountaineth whateth questionseth thou shalt haveth and they shall be answered unto thou accordingeth to thy Faith . . eth.

Tis a sad statementeth thateth the firsteth one who shalt cometh forth shall be therewith servedeth firsteth! Tis also askethed by my lawyereth thateth thereth beith noeth fighteths for the spoteths. Weeth claimeth noeth responsibilityeth foreth the concussioneths and other mightily unpleasenteth thingseths that shall and moreth than likelyeth willeth befalleth thou!

Alsoeth oneth a moreth pleasenteth noteeth I shalleth beith goingith to the shakespeareth playeth witheth the Mallinakeths tonighteth . . . We thinkith!

And The Dead Rise Again!

2006-07-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been an interesting weekend for me. Saturday I tragically fell ill with the flu. Just think of it! To be so tragically cut off from the world in the beginnings of my prime!! What injustice! What cruelty! What misery! Oh the sorrow! I can hardly bare to speak of it without pain! - Ahh well! Anywho so I then proceeded to get me bro sick and then I spent Sunday away from the MANY people I know and love! Y'all know who y'are! And I apparently missed John showcasing his new subwofers, Man I hope I spelled that right! And, though I got to hear them over the phone, that's another story, it still wasn't quite the same thing.

So the story with the phone call is that I was txting Mike and Kat to see if church was over because I was totally bummin at being home and I was soooo TOTALLY bored and it was something to do. Plus it just happened to be Mike's B-Day and I wanted to tell him happy birthday, like I do all my peeps! When it suddenly became apparent that he had to leave! Oh irony!! So he left and I got to hear, would it be first hand or second hand?, his new speakers or subwofers if there happens to be a difference.

Which leads me then to the ending of my story. We later that day went to see PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!!!! (Yes, John I know what you said about the ! thing, but this IS pirates after all and it DESERVES the extra attention! ^_^ ) !!!!!!!!!!!! Which wasn't as good as the first one!! And something happened that COMPLETELY grossed me out!! I mean eck! Who would DO that?? Johnny Depp is a good actor but that went a LITTLE TOO FAR!! Anywho, to get back on track, I left freezing only to have to relive my fever day and spent the rest of the evening with a rather high fever. Which stopped around midnight or 1 I can't remember which. And now I am rather better and back to my "normal" self. . . . . . @_@ . . . . . Whatever THAT is!

A story in the making

2006-07-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

This story is like many stories. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It began with my grandmother it continued to my mother and it shall end with me. Hear me. It SHALL end with me. Nothing shall stop me from ending this torment which many consider to be life. I know the truth. We are all of us doomed. ALL of us. I may be the last but I am not alone. I was brought into this world with a purpose and I WILL accomplish it. Hear me Braeden! It will all be over soon. You will claim no more life in your own name. Death ends with you and all that forsake the Light for you and your cause. No more. Do you hear me NO MORE!
I will not tell you whether or not the contents of this account are true or not. You must judge for yourself. Remember this. Carry it with you that you may in time be able to see the defilement of the Light that our common enemy is bringing against us. That you may be able to defend yourselves when I am no more and when those like me are gone. Perhaps forever. Carry this with you that you may understand and through understanding not follow the same path. I beg of you whoever you may be, please remember this account! If for no other reason than this: that you may live a life different from mine. That you may NOT live as I have lived.

Well, lemme know whatcha think!
Rae

And Then She Was Gone

2006-06-28T21:13:00.000-07:00

I came across this poem and I liked it so much that I decided that I would post it.

And Then She Was Gone

She chose to walk alone
Though others wondered why
Refused to look before her
Eyes cast upwards
Toward the sky

She didn't have companions
No need for earthly things
Only wanted freedom
From what she felt were
Puppet strings

She longed to be a bird
That she might fly away
She pitied every blade of grass
For planted they would stay

She longed to be a flame
That brightly danced alone
Felt jealous of the stream
That made the air its only home

Some say she wished too hard
Some say she wished too long
But we awoke one autumn day
To find that she was gone

The trees, they say stood witness
The sky refused to tell
But someone who had seen it said
The story played out well

She spread her arms out wide
Breathed in the break of dawn
She just let go of all she held

And then she was gone.

Unknown

CAPTIVATING!!! - Also known as A MUST READ!

2006-06-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Captivating. Over the many decades of human existence there have been many achievements to credit the human race. . . This is one of them. Captivating. To many of my readers you may have heard of Wild at Heart, well ladies we've waited long enough. Captivating is for us. And let me tell you something it is EVERYTHING WE NEED AND MORE! Sometimes, well most of the time, we women forget the important things about ourselves. . . The main thing being that not only do we matter but GOD MADE US TO MATTER. . . Yes, we hear this all the time, but read the book and you will soon see what I mean. We spend most of our lives feeling somehow inadequate. Like we're missing something, and this book helps to address those things in our lives. READ IT, it WILL help. . . It REALLY helped my sister and I can't even begin to tell you what all THAT means, as I have taken a vow of secrecy and would have to kill you unless she SPECIFICALLY told me that you could know. That you had been given the necessary clearance, so read. Be open to truth and become the woman that you were made to be. I don't mean that this book will magically make you better. It isn't a "fix it" book. What it is,however, is a book that I need to read myself! - Yes, and when I have actually read it cover to cover, that is IF I can get my sister to part with it, I will tell more about it but all women should read it!

The Boringness of the Mundane

2006-06-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

Well. . . Later today should break up the "boringness" of the mundane way life has been going as of late. After all who couldn't have fun with the Murphy's?? - Especially when Mrs. Murphy gets going!! Wo! That gal can crack a joke!! And another . . . And another . . . And another . . . Yeah, you get the idea. Anywho, (when I figure out where I got that I'll fill you in) they're expected later and it should turn out to be an interesting experience.

The Akron Air Show

2006-06-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Ok. So today I went with my sister to the Akron Air Show and we met up with a friend - Jessica McGuckin - and had fun talking to her. Which was the only good part of an otherwise boring 2 and a half hours of watching planes do stuff. . . NOT my thing. . . Last night I got to tease Mike Hoffman by telling him I had no idea what plane he was talking about was and he went all "lecture" mode on me and I just stood there trying to not space out. - It all went over my head!- You see to learn about Nutrition I had to delete some of my prior knowledge about something, it just turned out to be World War 1. - My brother STILL tries to get me to RE-learn it to no avail. . . - So the whole plane thing would've made me delete something else and the elves were already working overtime since I haven't gotten much sleep this week. Woh!! - ? - THAT would be difficult to say fast. . . . But not worse than saying "We have a Fully Functional Forcefield" THAT would be HARD to say drunk!! Yay Doctor Who!! I'm sooo mad they got ride of Christopher Eccleston (Ecclesten??) as the doctor!!! But Hey!! It's just tv. . . And BAD British tv at that . . . I wonder why I love it soo much??!!

Hello school year!! You are fast approaching and I don't like it!!! Wait!! At least for another couple of months!!! Maybe I'll even learn a new language before you come!! You hail the dawning of a new decade in my life and I like things the way they are . . . Ok. Mabe not the way they ARE but you get the idea!!

Last night I went to a drive in movie with the Murphy's for like the first time ever!! Who knew that drive in's still exsisted?? Because I sure didn't!!! And it was FREEZING!!!! I turned out to be SOOOO glad that they brought extra blankets because Kat and I needed them!!! Daniel's cold got worse since last night, but we'll survive!! I hope!!

Well I'm off to do good deeds and to make dinner and get things together so I can knock the socks off my family. . .. And help my mom out a little!!! Maybe I'll even make some chocolate ecclaires!!!

Jessie Is Coming Over Tomorrow!!!!!!!

2006-06-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

Jessie is coming over tomorrow night!!! YAY!!!!!!! I SOO can't wait it's been SOOOOO long since I've seen Jessie!!! Jessie, I love you hun!! We will SOO have a lot of fun when you come over!!! Maybe we'll watch Riverdance and Ad Lib to it!!! Wouldn't THAT be fun!!!

Propland

2006-06-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

Well I never thought I'd ever be a behind the stage kinda gal but here I am working behind the scenes for a dance show!! I have always loved being IN the lime light and now I'm backstage left of the lime light!! Who would've guessed??!! I also feel the need to admit to the fact that I am completely enjoying it. Another surprise for me!! I always thought I'd hate it and here I am hardly able to wait until Friday when I go back for the final dress rehearsal!! Wow!! Who would've thunk it?? Dancing in and of itself isn't really my thing but theatre is and so here I am!! It is soo much fun and watching the little girls get ready is something of an amusing nature!! But through it all I realize that God wanted me here for a reason so now all I have to do is figure it out!! - Although I think I finally figured it all out!! The dance troup leader was having trouble with some of the help she had and so here I am serving her and helping her get her dance performance ready!! Propland here I come!!

Today marks the begining of the end

2006-06-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well, as many of you know today is officially the begining of the end. It has been said therefore it is. . . O.k. Now that THAT is out of the way . . .
Faith. A powerful word. But just what does it mean?? What IS faith?? Is it those moments when you tell God what you want and expect Him to give it to you??
The Israelites had no Faith in God. Repeatedly Jesus was saying "Oh yea of LITTLE FAITH" so the logical conclusion is that they just didn't what?? . . Were they missing some magical formula?? They cetainly had the law down enough! But they WERE missing something. . . So what was it??
Biblically speaking "Faith is the evidence of things hoped for but not seen as yet." Well what in the world does THAT mean?? There is still something missing for us to fully grasp this concept.
"If you abide in me (if we abide in God), and my words abide in you (Scripture is in our hearts) than you may ask what you will of the Father and it will be granted to you . ."
Thus we come to the conclusion of everything. If we know God's word than we know God. We spend time with Him and know Him like we would know anyone else. Therefore we can ask Him for something and He will grant it to us because we will ask for it according to HIS WILL!! Faith is merely believing that God is who He said He is and that He will do what He said He would.
I apologize for not remembering where I got those verses!! I am pretty good at memorizing Scriptures . . . . Just not where they come from . . I.e. which book and what chapter and what verse . . . Etc. . . Anywho!! Enjoy!!