Blue Chasing Red

So here is another part to add to the previous post...

Psalm 37 (in part)23-25

"The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread."

Red Wanting Blue

I feel like I'm at a crossroad. Surrounded on all sides by choices and failures. And no matter which way I go, I always end up back at the beginning. Yes, a man may choose his way but the Lord directs his steps, but what happens when your caught in a tailspin with no power and no wind...What do you do when you're surrounded on all sides and have nowhere left to go...(and i'm assuming that you're not spending you time staring at your navel - you're looking skyward toward your Lord and savior)

What then? What is life? Is it some kind of accumulation of our work...Our school and then somehow are we nothing more than the culmination of our jobs? Is that how we are seen? As bubbles? Beautiful and fragile and gone.

I'm not sure what life is all about. Not really. But I do know what it isn't. And perhaps that can help. I admit, I'm completely lost at the moment. I've been reading Psalm 42

"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?" These things I remeber, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you tin turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remeber you from the land of Jordan and Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to Deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commandshis steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?"

As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me continually, "where is your God?" Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

And that pretty much states where I am right now...

Full Circle

And so it begins again. That's right folks, the semester is starting again....And I must somehow force myself to begin again the daily grind...Which is not the most pleasant thought to be having let me tell you!!

But on a completely different note: I have once again begun the excavation of my kitchen...Yes, I am once again baking...Oh, all sorts of things. Bread, scones, cookies...It's all really dependent on my mood these days. But it's been turning out well and that has been a blessing.

the official death of a great mind

So after 2 weeks of straight studying my brain is officially fried. I can't even imagine myself reading another textbook...and I wont...not till I'm good and ready....(of course if I had my way that wouldn't be for quite a while) Not that it's surprising or anything.

It's funny. I have all these really deep things that I wanna say. To "dazzle" the world with my "intellect" and I can't help but sit here and be all..."hmmm. My brain really is dead." Because ya know what, I just don't have it in me. All the great lines and funny/snarky comments are completely asleep. And I'm staring at my bed and all I can think about is how wonderful it would be to just crawl into it and not wake up for a couple hundred years.

So I'm signing off for now. Because in the end, everyone needs to recharge. And tonight, I'm taking the time for me to sleep. So sweet dreams world. See you on the morrow.

Rae

Seeds

In everyone
our thought
and deeds
all shape our
hearts
our souls
to see.

With everyday
our deeds
they say
our master
chosen
our hearts
his say.

To have
two masters
is possible - not
the seeds are
sown
our lives
the cost.

With every deed
those seeds
bear fruit
our heart
revealed
we follow suit.

(same deal...copyrighted...)

Masks

What masks
we wear
all
bear in part
the pieces
hidden
of our broken
heart.

(btw that was copyrighted)

A Poll of Sorts

So my fandom. I pose a question to you. I have some poetry that I've been considering posting, but am not entirely certain that I should. If ya'll say "yay" then post I shall, but if you say "nay" then think no more on the subject.

It's actually some of the first bits of poetry that I've written, just for myself. And not for a class. And being a "sensitive artist" I'm a bit wary of the responses that I'll get. But whatever!

Lemme know
Rae