Bill Ihde recently preached a series of messages on marriage. Not surprising since he's always been the family man...According to my mother anyway, I was WAY to young to remember any of it. And I've been stewing on it and mulling it over and I think I've finally come to a conclusion.
As a girl I spend time, granted it isn't all of my time but it is some, thinking about marriage and the whole nine yards. This shouldn't come as a surprise, anyone who has a sister or is a girl knows and has experience with this sort of thing. But I always just assumed that I'd end up marrying a knight in shining armour or a fabulously fabled prince who would just come out of nowhere and marry me and we'd live a magically and ridiculously unrealistic happily ever after. But I've come to realize that there isn't any realism in that kind of thinking. Sure it's cute and the kind of thing that you'd see in a Disney movie, but how and where does it play out in real life?
When I examine all the ideas and preconceptions that I've carried around about marriage and love and falling in love I really find that things aren't what I thought that they'd be. I don't mean that I have no idea or anything, just that the whole I guess "dream" about the way that I would want things to be ideally just isn't ideal. Actually I realize that it doesn't leave room for what really matters. Even as a Christian my "dream" of it all has been skewed by the way the world looks at things. Bill talked about how a man worthy of marrying would want to leave the girl he's interested in in a better place both with God and in everyday living than when he met her. He would change her for the better, whether or not he actually walked down the aisle with her. He would work with and on her like a garden and treat her like a precious thing that was worth not just protecting but being cherished. So many of us girls in this world haven't been cherished by anyone and the thought that we're worth cherishing and that we deserve and should be cherished hasn't even crossed our minds. But I guess this is just another instance where the Lord knows better than we do.
The kind of guy we ladies like is as different as we are, and that's ok. The interesting thing is that all girls are looking for someone who makes them feel like they're worth something not just because they're beautiful or attractive or an object of desire but because there is something about them, I think it's our souls whether or not the guy in question actually realizes it or not, that they see and can't help but find value and I don't know something special in. It's the ones that make you feel special that make the cut. Personally I believe that in those instances they're not just seeing us, they're seeing a part of God that is speaking to them and blowing their minds away. In Genesis it talks about how the creation of the world wasn't complete until God made woman. Ladies, we're the crown of creation, if it wasn't for us things wouldn't be "good" or complete. So I have to believe that being a hopeless romantic isn't such a bad thing after all. I'll leave off with a quote, from Hitch - which was a moderately ok movie, "Any man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom." Or in this case he needs to have the right idea of who to use the broom on!! ;-p
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4 comments:
I don't think it's that the man you love will or won't be a prince, it's how you see him. You can make him a prince or a pauper through how you see him. No need not to dream. After all, if we couldn't dream...sleep would be absurdly boring... ~_^
While I agree with you, that is the topic of another post...I was actually referring to womankind's constant "daydreaming," if you will, about what they want him to look like and how they want him to act and what kind of personality he'll have....It's incredibly absurd because it sets us up for disappointment as no man can live up to our "ideal" man.
I see your point. Perhaps we should then continue to imagine but with a healthy knowledge of our own faults and shortcomings...
Rae, I agree. God's goodness often comes in packages we wouldn't recognize because they're unusual or awkward.
I know my prince should worship God whole heart- body- and mind- edly. But he should also make a good, steady income (not necessarily rich, but enough to feed a family) and be passionate about the concept of family (not climbing a corporate ladder). Oh, and he's got to be so madly in love with me that living without me is not an option :-D
And I as a princess will worship God in a likewise manner. But I should also have the skills to enable him to make that income, and encourage his passion for family. Oh, and I've gotta be so madly in love with him that leaving him lonely would break my heart ;-)
I'm so glad my parents never let Disney brainwash me.
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